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A Visit to the Dentist

I am not a great fan of the dentist. In fact there was a gap of about 12 years or so between visits until a couple of years ago when a giant filling fell out. Karen is a very nervous patient as well but plucked up courage to go and found a nervous patient-friendly dentist so I chose to go there. They can be really irritating though. Here's what they do:

My last appointment was a year ago and I booked an annual checkup for this December. They have changed it twice during the year. They rang my mobile twice, my home once and sent me a letter reminding me about the appointment. They have changed their name to "The Perfect Smile" - cringe.

They have kept me waiting quite a while which is always a wind-up of course but it's even worse when you are scared. This time I took a book and sat down...and was seen within a minute. The dentist prodded around, took two unnecessary xrays (he took the same ones last time) and tried to sell me £5,000 of work that I rejected a year ago. I was only in there a few minutes - definitely less than 10 minutes. And the charge? £45.

So, I have to book a year ahead and I say "You're not allowed to change it more than 4 times." They get the joke. "They" is Kat. Kat Woman is how Karen refers to her. She thinks she is so efficient but she is so wrong. Then she offers me a glass of wine. It's getting near Xmas I guess but it's only 9:40am. So I do the polite thing and say "OK Thank you. That would be very nice". "Red or White?" "Red please" "Oh good - I don't think we have got any white. Urrm Caroline can you open that bottle of red - I'm no good with corks". "You aught to practice more" I say. "Oh I am vary good at pouring and swallowing" Kat says with a straight face. Kat is about 30, slim, long dark hair. Probably a 2 pint job. I like to be agrreable, or leastways to agree, so I reply "I bet you are". Not a flicker.

So I sit down and have my plastic tumbler of red wine which was very nice. Read my book for 10 minutes and take my leave. "Don't tell Karen" Kat warns, "She'll have my guts for garters". "An interesting concept I respond and we do th emutual Merry Christmas bit and I leave and laugh and laugh all the way home at the bizarreness of it all.

The moral is you should go to your dentist! It can be fun!

Posted by grahame at December 10, 2003 07:03 PM | TrackBack