Jamil was 8. He was born 6 days later than my son Nathan. They sat at the same table in school and were good schoolboy friends. Jamil was killed in a road accident and the funeral was yesterday. I find it hard to cope in these situations and my weeping at the burial probably didn't help Nathan who then wept uncontrollably. Looking at Jamil's father I felt helpless, distressed. Jamil's mother follows the Islam faith and had amazing courage and control even able to come and console Nathan with her son just recently buried a few minutes earlier.
Unlike Christian burials I have been to, the pall bearers and close mourners, all men, fill the grave using shovels, spades and their hands to move the earth on top of the coffin. Then the rest of us, and there was a huge congregation, moved closer to lay flowers and speak a few words if we felt able.
We all have to come to terms with death and must be strong as well as grieving. My heart goes out to Jamil and Jamil's family. They showed tremendous courage and are blessed with each other's support as well support from the community. May their pain be brief and their happy memories long.
Posted by grahame at June 19, 2004 09:58 AM | TrackBackI have been to funerals in Ireland where the grave was filled while the mourners stood at the graveside, but they were all in a very very sandy area. I suspect the tradition grew in that place because it was so easy to refill the grave. It would be harder on Thames mud, for example.
Soft sand hitting the coffin is a much pleasanter sound than clods of earth - more like tucking someone up than locking them away.
Posted by: Ailbhe at June 23, 2004 10:57 PM