tptb dragoon

Absence

Ryan has gone off to Switzerland for 10 days with the Scouts. I think that's a big trip for a small boy. He arrived after a car, flight, train and mini-bus journey and they set up their tents, had some food and went to bed. The Scout Leader called us and said that Ryan was a bit quiet and miserable but we we said we woud leave it to the next day before speaking to him.

He rang at lunchtime and said they'd been abseiling down some rocks in the pouring rain and he was in high spirits. I told him I was missing him and he said "Yeahhhh? Right." assuming I was kidding. Which of course was quite astute as Nathan and I get much more time on the playstation when Ryan is away.

White Lines

No, not the drugs but actually I'm not too sure even about that. At the back of my office there is a little alleyway leading out to the mews. As you might expect, things "congregate" there and it is also used for bicycles. Having been walking through that alleyway for about 2 years, I have to say I can't remember a time when it was blocked but may the H&S guys have been down and they have been trying to stop the wayward furniture from causing us problems.

As you can see in the photo, you can tether up your bike and roaming office chairs to the wall. Not content with that, they have painted this white line down the middle which means something like "no overtaking" doesn't it?

Stage Struck

Nathan is quite a shy lad so it was really good for him that he got involved with a drama group. So, we went to to see the culmination of many months of effort which was put on at a good sized local theatre. It was pretty dire at times to be honest but some of the budding stars were very good and we enjoyed it all immensely.

Nathan did his stuff and, when the lights went down, he and his mates walked off stage. It was especially good though, as he and his friends were wearing their "light-up" trainers so at each step little red lights were flashing around their feet. It'll never catch on.

Luckily, I set up the sophisticated sound equipment (ie pressed the button on my camera) and once again can bring you a truly awful sound recording which will make you think you were really there.

Wide Boys

East End lads, trilby hats, camel skin coats. Would you sell your car to someone who has a big old Merc with Del Boy as the registration? I just did. I only hope the cheque doesn't bounce. Get the straight jacket nurse...

Brain Teaser

A lot of us like a little puzzle so those nice people at GCHQ have set us one.

Take a look at it then we will continue. Ready? Good. Now I wasn't sure where to start with this so I wouldn't bother but Chris did and came up with most of the solution but not the final answer. So we need your help. So as to not spoil it, this will continue in the next section - don't read on if you want to try it yourself. Oh and if you want to know how he got this far I will post that in a few days' time as well.

Chris thinks the answers are:

1 From: The Bible, The Book of Joshua (Chapter 2)
2 From: The Gold-Bug
3 From: The Adventure of the Dancing Men
4 From: The Spy Who Came in from the Cold
5 From: Intelligence Services Act 1994
6 From: The Code Book

and apparently there is a concealed 6 letter word in them.

The answer could be "secret" if you take one letter from each of the above but that is a bit tenuous. That's assuming the above is correct of course but we are fairly certain about that - I'll post Chris's ingenious method in a few days time.

Any suggestions?

Insurance Claim

It's an increasingly common occurrence for people who trip over a crack in the payment to successfully sue their council for damages. I have littel sympathy for them mostly as they are trying it on. Indeed they should Shut Up!.

However, this is what I call a kerbstone.

Nothing Upstairs

Better than Gloves

As you may know, Funky Dave collects pictures of lost gloves. Freud may have something to say about that. However, more exclusively, I have found a picture of a glove bag.

Remember CB?

Hey Good Buddy, crank your handle. Massive ariels on your house and on your car/van. Crap reception, lots of gear being nicked. I see that someone is trying to start the craze all over again:

Evidence

I mentioned a Sunday Carvery last month and some doubted me. Well here's the evidence with me at the top left and the finished article bottom right. My main contribution was beer for the guy organising it but I also did the fish you can possibly just make out on the top right picture.

Classic poses

Here's a flier from the AA. The AA are a big organisation with decent revenue and a long history. So how come they consider it good sense to send out such basic advertising messages? OK, I'm no expert in these matters and I'm only showing you the front cover and maybe people much more clued up than me can point to the good points in this but I just don't see it.

Perhaps we should write in with some suggestions to solve the poor girl's dilemma? Here's a few:

1. A life

2. Not an acting job

3. Not the bloody AA anyway who increased my premium by 50% because I called them out a few times. Aha! Now my prejudice shows through. I switched to the RAC by the way and haven't called them out at all so everyone's a winner there I guess.

Of course the imagery is deliberate: vulnerable blonde woman on the front and inside is a comfortably mature roadside engineer to whisk her off her tyres. Not quite gratuitous use of the female form but that still goes on - I can't find the example of this I was looking for but will post it when I do.

Serious Stuff - the Frustrated Consumer

I really would like to know how far I am running. So I was considering getting my odometer transmitter replaced on my bike, as it fell off when it was on the back of the car earlier this year. Then I could cycle my running route and record the distances. However, it occurred to me that there was a much better way. Now pay attention Funky Dave, if you reading this, because you should really get one of these:

A GPS watch. Simple. Type "GPS watch" into Google and click on the main sponsored link and you get details of the Forerunner 101. For £99 it does everything you need - pace, distance , time, lap times, history etc. Oh but it doesn't have a PC interface. I must have a PC interface I reckon especially as I plan on doing a 50 mile+ walk later this year and wouldn't mind plotting the route.

So I obviously need the Forerunner 201 which has the PC interface. Oh and it's got a Virtual Partner who runs alongside you so you can see how you are performing compared to previous runs. Very nice. It's a bit of slab on your wrist which I don't like and it's £130. Hmmm, what's this at the bottom? Oh people who have looked at this have also looked at:

The Timex Ironman Triathlon Speed and Distance System. Of course I am no tri-athlete but I find it's always worth looking at the next model up to convince you that you are making the right choice. This natty gadget comes with a traditional looking watch that wirelessly connects to the GPS device which can therefore be mounted on your belt or handlebars. Hmm I can even use it on my boat - not that I need to but it does do knots and nauticle miles... It has a night-light feature as well. That's useful. Not useful to me but I am looking for justification to buy this so that I have a normal looking watch on my wrist. Oh and it's water resistant to 50 metres. Hang about, it's a bit pricey isn't it? £220. Hmm well this may be going too far but lets just check out the specification a bit more...

Hang on, it doesn't have a data recorder so I need one of these as well. That's another £53 thanks very much and a third piece of kit to carry around. And they are not in stock anyway. I'm getting a bit fed up with this. Oh and I see that mugs/people who have looked at this item have also looked at:

The Ironman as above but with heart rate sensors. Fantastic - you get an alarm going off when you overdo it. Good job I'm not wired up to it right now! Oh yes, I have to have this, it really is serious stuff...and it's only £275. Add the data recording device and delivery and, and...I think I'll go down to the bike shop.

It's the Pits

F1 came to London yesterday and I Got The [Free] T-Shirt off this girl. There was no chance of seeing the cars in action though so I gave that up and moved on to...

...see The Pits who you can hear here (to coin a phrase). They named themselves after doing a charity gig for Jacques Villeneuve apparently.

New Editor

We have alittle kitten called Tickles now. I call her Tix of course as I don't want to be standing outdoors calling "Tickles". She is a lovely little creature and likes checking out the blog content and my emails as can be seen here.

Colour by Numbers

We popped down to the local festival yesterday to have a go on the dodgems, eat awful hot dogs and avoid the scary rides. Possibly the best attraction was Colourscape with their air-filled octovoids which were lit up by the late afternoon sun.

Here are some, original and not colour retouched, pics:

Click for more pics...

Life Sentence

Down the pub, as you do, you mean all sorts of people. The other night we met Mac. Real name David Macmillan according to his prison release form shown here. He was drunk and we were getting there too so can we be sure of his story? It's certainly supported by the detail on the form - he spent 25 years in prison. He probably deserved to be a little drunk.

Everybody has their story and I guess 25 years meant he was given "Life or at least 25 years" but I don't know how parole fitted in to that. The background, according to Mac, was LSD and a death and he wouldn't grass on the perp and so did the full stretch. He said it was Operation Julie which was a big drugs bust in 1977 but there is not much info on the net about it. I could always buy the book though and see if Mac turns up next Tuesday as we suggested he might.

Nipples

You probably know about degrees of connection, how we are only seven connectabed steps away from everybody else. For instance, you definitley know of someone with the same birthday as you - Tony Blair for instance in my case and two blokes up the cricket club. So what abou t people with three nipples?

I know two and, in another instance of bizarre coincidence, they're both male. One is my Father-in-Law and the other one is Mark who features here. In fact women do get them as well although they don't get three breasts unless they have been eating whatever is on the British scare-list this week e.g. beef, eggs, salt, McDonalds or very small tadpoles.