tptb dragoon

Dinner Plates

Have you ever seen such a spotless carpark? Clean enough to eat your dinner off. This was in Spain - I can't see NCP following the trend. They also do things like give you free parking if it's your birthday (conditions apply of course).

Fine Railways Signs of Our Time

Regular mainline railusers will probably recognise this extensive complex information board that simply lights up with the word OFF when a train enters the platform. But it's new to me.

However, I am no better than Railtrack as my railway set in the loft hasn't seen much devlopment in the last couple of years. Something to do with PFI - the Private Finance Initiative which means that I had gone over budget according to my wife and that I should get the boiler fixed first.

Underground Littter

The Tube guys have various rules about charities and where there representatives can stand etc. These rules are ignored pretty much or maybe they are more relaxed than I think they should be. Anyway, standing outside the tube entrance was a guy handing out leaflets. I don't want random information thrust at me as there's plenty of that happening all the time. So I had a bag in one hand and got my credit card out in the other ready to buy a ticket but he still offered me a leaflet. Of course I could have just refused or said no but I just looked away.

Inside the station, as you can see, the leaflets were just discarded and this happened all the way down the steps onto the platform. Nice one.

Looney Tunes

Coming home on the tube last night, my carriage was full of the normal cross-section of fellow commuters. "Cross" often being the appropriate word for tube travellers. There were two seats free except one guy had piled his jacket and bags onto the seat next to him in that neighbourly way people do sometimes. So I took the completely vacant seat.

The woman on my right was deeply involved in her magazine but also had a tape or cd playing with someone talking. It sounded like a low, monotone voice that I imagine is used on those tapes you get so that you can learn whilst asleep. Perhaps she was learning a new language. The multi-tasking abilities of women are, obviously, fantastic.

The bloke on my left was drinking beer from a can and getting fresh cans from his pockets as needed. He decided to talk at the sad woman opposite me telling her that she obviously had man trouble or family problems. I don't think she was too upset by this but she didn't reply.

The drunk left. The woman further to my left snored. The guy with the bags looked angry.

There was a sweet on the floor and it looked lost, lonely and exposed. I wondered if it was from a packet of Tunes. I did the obvious thing which was to get my camera out and take a photo of it. Sad woman obviously thought I was a looney. Snoring woman woke up and rang her partner and then rang another lover it seemed. I am sure that multi-tasking woman tutted and angry man looked at me like I was an anti-social weirdo. Or am I just paranoid? Angry man's phone rang with a really shite ring-tone and then he barked into it.

And then I forgot about the poor sweet and went home. It's nice to have an inalienable right to be barking mad and to meet up with some of my fellow loonies on the tube. Only they just don't seem to see it that way.

Bike Rack

Solve those difficult bike parking problems:

Holiday Snaps

Most people take photos when on holiday and for me this is a classic. We come here to Cornwall whenever we can and the usual thing people say is "I hope the weather stays fine" or "I hope you don't get too wet". The Great British Summer is underrated as far as I am concerned.

Take the past three days for instance. Each started with fairly heavy rain. On the first day I was running when the heavens opened and I got soaked. We spent the morning playing scrabble, ten-pin bowling etc. and the afternoon on the beach.

The second day we drove to Padstow and hired some bikes. It was spitting as we left the hire centre but we rode 22 miles (and Nathan is only 9 years old!) and it was a glorious day.

And yesterday I had planned to launch my boat but the rain came and so we played Simpsons Monopoly for an hour until it cleared. Then we got going and here is the result: A little beach that can only easily be reached by boat, the sun, the family and you can just make out the ducks. The smiling faces tell the rest of the story. That's my holiday snap!

Dangerous Vehicles

The cars are fierce in Falmouth so, after they have been parked, the drivers put chains up to stop them escaping. Or to stop other people parking there...or...or...no, I can't think why.

White Lines

No, not the drugs but actually I'm not too sure even about that. At the back of my office there is a little alleyway leading out to the mews. As you might expect, things "congregate" there and it is also used for bicycles. Having been walking through that alleyway for about 2 years, I have to say I can't remember a time when it was blocked but may the H&S guys have been down and they have been trying to stop the wayward furniture from causing us problems.

As you can see in the photo, you can tether up your bike and roaming office chairs to the wall. Not content with that, they have painted this white line down the middle which means something like "no overtaking" doesn't it?

Wide Boys

East End lads, trilby hats, camel skin coats. Would you sell your car to someone who has a big old Merc with Del Boy as the registration? I just did. I only hope the cheque doesn't bounce. Get the straight jacket nurse...

Carbohydrates

I went for a run this morning (it's my new thing). That's 3 runs so far in about, oooh, 3 weeks so I am really punishing myself. When I got to the tube I boarded and looked for a Metro to, errm, wrap my sandwiches in. I have seen gloves instead of the Metro or bits of other discarded papers. But never fruit. Bananas are good fibre and I love them so I was quite tempted to eat it. It was sitting on the air-duct which worried me a little.

So I left it. A woman boarded the train and sat next to it. I was just toying with asking her is it was hers just to see what reaction I got when she kicked me. Not deliberately of course, she was just settling down. As you may recall, ther has been a bit of aggro on the tube lately. I looked at her and she warned me: "Don't start anything". Brilliant. So she missed out on the banana.

Tube Joy

I have encountered a number of odd incidents on the tube and not a week goes by without some notable event. Within the last week or so I travelled alongside a bloke holding a (freshly used) garden strimmer. Coincidentally Karen was in the post office the other day and a man had a pair of shears pointing dangerously out of his ruck sack. It's a dangerous Gardener's World - I confess to having recurring nightmare about being trapped by a pair of Dimmocks.

Back to the tube. Last week I was standing near one of the doors and a girl got on and stood in the centre, not holding on. At one point the train lurched, as they tend to do. I had my head bent forward reading and noticed this hand coming flying just past my face and grabbing on to the pole. To all intents and purposes it seemed to me like she was punching me but just missing although I obviously knew the truth.

I slowly looked up at her with a serious face and she realised how it could have looked. I waved a finger at her and said, aggressively "Don' t start [anything]!". Fortunately she saw the funny side and rewarded me with a lovely smile.

A few days later I hopped on a tube and the doors closed. There were a lot of people standing. The train didn't move. The driver's voice came clearly over the tannoy, an unusual event in itself I guess, and he said: "Ladies and Gentlemen. Pickpockets and Beggars have boarded this train. Please do not encourage these illegal activities. Keep all belongings..." etc. I looked around at some of the other people standing near to me. Some had ignored it but some were clearly taking it all in. The guy nearest to me was wearling a woolly hat pulled tight over his head and a duffle coat. We looked at each other. "It's not you is it?" I asked him accusingly. "Well I suppose I look like it could be me" he said. He then kicked my head in. Actually I made that last bit up. Luckily he too saw the funny side.

Pedant-O-Meter

Funky Dave got himself a pedometer. According to the guys in the office that is something to do with walking on children, but it's not. Honest. Dave walks a lot by shunning the tube system mostly. I walk a little and so I thought I'd get one. It has a combined FM radio as well with shoddy ear pieces. Yep - it's a hopeless gimmick.

There are some interesting facts to come out, assuming we believe the read-out. For instance, on an average day I walk about 2 miles. That's even when I drive to the tube.

However, there are some boring stats which the tedious amongst me tend to trot out. For instance I had two pints of Cornish Tribute on Friday night and, during that time I stayed at the bar. But apparently I walked 0.03 of a mile. Good huh? I then had more beer and red wine etc. but didn't measure those.

Watch out for more interesting measurements soon.

More Travelling Wilburys

You may recall some minor observations or incidents on my previous travels and I am here to report a couple more.

The other day I got on the tube and sat next to agirl. I didn't take much notice of her. You get a lot of them on the tube after all. After a few minutes I noticed her runnaging around in her handbag. Imagine my surprise when she fished out a pair of furry handcuffs. I obviously followed this up with a sideways glance to check her out. Nope, not dressed provocatively and not attractive. Not to me at least.

I started listening to her conversation. Not that I was interested but I thought you might be. Turns out that she goes to school. I reckon she must have been 18 years old and she was chatting to someone who was old enough to be her mother. What did she think of the handcuffs I wondered? Anyway, the tube journey flew by.

She ended at Finchley Central trying to take a picture of a bottle of Coke on a poster that was about 75 yards away and then announced that she didn't think the flash would carry that far.

There were other incidents of course:

I think the girl pulling the huge suticase on wheels between the seated passengers so should could stand at the end of the carriage instead of the middle takes the current prize for sheer, urrrrm, single-mindedness.

Lastly, the Northern Line is back to a full service. Which explains why I had to wait six trains to get a direct one to High Barnet. Poo.

Frozen Saddles

We've just been to Center Parcs which means lots of outdoor actvities, sport etc. You can get around on foot but cycling is more fun. One evening we cyceld to the centre to watch Love Actually - a very funny film. It was cold when we got there and I noticed frost appearing on the saddles of the bikes already there.

Whilst waiting for the film to start we were chatting to a woman I had met earlier in the day. I mentioned that there was a nip in the air and she said that she had forgotten to put her plastic bag on. "Madam, I don't care to know the intimate nature of your undergarments" was my, quite natural, response. Maybe it was incontinence. Karen tells me people put bags on their saddles to keep the rain and frost off but that can't be right can it?

Take that back

My previous entry talked about the joys of rail travel. Well I'll just take that back as the journey back was shite.

New Stations

I had to get up early and travel from a small station called Thetford this morning. At 7am there was little traffic, good signage and plenty of free parking. Wonderful. I bought a ticket and boarded the train, sitting near a door above which was the destination display. For some reason, it gave its first stop as Flu. It took me a little while to realise that I couldn't see the lower part of the display and it said Ely.

I caught 4 trains to arrive at my destination and it was all smooth and easy. Of course it's Half Term and so the roads are quieter and travel in general is probably easier than usual. However, it certainly appeals to travel this way although I have yet to do the return journey.

One downside was the first class travel of the main train. Its smallness of carriage, a problem for some people I believe, wasn't a problem but you normally get free tea and biscuits and can buy bacon butties etc. Not so on this journey. There was a rather sad looking trolley being jostled around by a rather sad looking attendant. I brightly asked for a cup of tea and he bought me two small cartons of "milk", a stirrer and some paper towels. 95p. I only had 80p or a £10 so he grudgingly took the small change as he had none himself. Of course why would he? He had only just started and he wouldn't be armed with any...

Well, its all not important. However, the actual cup of tea would have been good if he had left it for me - I had to chase him down the corridor to ask for it. Ruined his day I think.

Aussie bike

You and Me

You know, getting from A to B is mostly tedious. Regular journeys filled with familiar surroundings which we mostly ignore. However you can find your time enlivened with little moments of magic. Here are 3 from the last few days:

1. Whilst walking in the entrance vestibule to London Bridge station, a shoe came hurtling past me and stopped. It was one of those backless, slip-on varieties owned by the dutch or something like that. Not a clog, but probably expensive anyway and it makes the foot look cold. The owner, a 6 foot plus bloke was not far behind it. He slipped it on without bending down and carried on..almost as if he deliberately did it. Just his way of getting through the day.

2. A lady next to me had a tabloid edition of The Times. This is a relatively new idea, just available to Londoners I think. It is meant to be easier to read and handle. You would be forgiven for thinking so though. Wrestling. That's the word. It looked like a screwed up hanky. She folded it this way, then that. Then, with great effort, she tried to fold it over "neatly". I was tempted to ask if she was any good at wrapping presents.

3. I was standing in the part of the carriage by the doors and we arrived at a stop. A seat came free in the middle and this lanky guy rushed to get it. Coming at him from the opposite direction was a much less fleet of foot guy. It was an easy victory for lanky guy. But no. Rather than make it look easy and casual, he tripped on the pointy shoe of the nearest girl, did a 270 degree spin across her lap and landed heavily in the seat, smacking into the girl on the other side. 5.6 with a difficulty of 3.4.

Travel Interruption

More chaos! It's snowing. We had 4 or 5 inches in about 30 minutes here and luckily we were all at home and it's been great fun. The Big Freeze last year caught me out and it took 7 hours to get home.

Here is the view from the front door...

Insert small boy:

Insert 2nd boy and create giant snowball:

Create a snowman as big as them:

Create a snowman as big as me!:

Power (the lack of)

"Speed, I need more speed" is the cry from Bart and Lisa Simpson in the "Hit and Run" game on the PS2. Ages ago I bought this car which, it has to be said, has shed loads of speed. 420bhp in a fibreglass car has to be fast really. I don't bring this to your attention to show off, in fact it's the opposite. It's embarrassing really as, although being proud to be one of the minority of garage owners that have a car in it, that is where it normally stays.

And the main reason it stays there is that I don't use it much. Blinding logic! However, in a case of use or lose it, the battery will go flat even if the car sits in the garage without the alarm on. This is a pain as the car has a flash feature - electric doors. So I can't get in the car to open the bonnet. In fact I normally leave the bonnet undone as this is a regular occurrence. At speed the bonnet flaps away a little but as it opens from the windscreen forward, like all sensible bonnets (E type Jags and other real cars do this - sorry that's all car snobbery bollocks), it's not a safety issue. However, I had the bonnet locked down.

When you have a flat battery on my car, the answer is to take the rear number plate off. Of course. You then insert a screwdriver and push a lever which opens the, normally electrically operated, boot. You pull back the panneling and pull the lever that manually opens the driver's door. You rush to catch the door before it scrapes against the garage wall and squeeze in and unlock the bonnet.

So, last weekend, I went through the above routine and I charged the car overnight but it wouldn't quite start. So I charged it again. I noticed that the electric doors still were'nt working a day or so later but assumed that the car was really flat and so I left the driver's door ajar.

This morning I took off the battery charger, clambered in and it started first time. I'll record the engine noise one of these days (sad, I know) as it's wonderful. With a big smile on my face I left the car to warm up and got out and shut the door. I went round the back and put the number plate back on admidst the twin exhaust fumes, shut the boot, told the family that it started etc..

So, armed with RAC callout number and my mobile phone, essential kit for all British Sport Car owners as reliability is not a strong point, I went out to the car to take it for a battery charging, life enhancing spin. The driver's door wouldn't open. The passenger door wouldn't open. The boot wouldn't open. There was a one inch gap where the driver's window was open and I reckon I could just get a stick in to press the red "off" button to stop the engine (keyless iginition). I decided not to and took the number plate off etc.. Bugger.

So I checked the fuses and they were fine. Fortunately, it's apparently a common problem, and the service man I rang talked me through the finding and resetting of a control unit. 50 years of technology and we still switch things off and on to get them to work.

Having written this I am now going to pop down to the garage...fingers crossed!

Steaming great streaks of

Lines

Railways are wonderful. Tubes are crap. But that bit when the Tube train is above ground is sort of middle ground and I dont know whether to love it or not. But hey, it's a sunny day and it looks good so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

The Boat Show

I went to the London Boat Show, which was a first for me and it was great fun. Some of the boats are beautiful

but there's more....

Big hulls

Flash racing boats (I want one)

Big fishing reels

BIG engines

Novelty boats

And finally the Yacht Hotel which is a big boat that has entrance like a normal hotel. Actually I wouldn't mind a tour of the QM2 if only to see how rediculous it is.

Prop Job

Bike Upgrade

We have finally got Ryan a new bike. You can see how mean we were by hanging on for ages - look at the size of his old bike compared to his new. In fact it's a small framed adult bike so hopefully that will save money in years to come. He's a lucky chap I reckon.

Moving house

Don't like where you live? Fed up with the neighbours? Then just float off somewhere else.

Where's The Fire?

Hoepfully the fires of old were small affairs that you could take your time to put out.

Chop Chop

It was a Very Windy day yesterday but the sun shone and it was very pleasant, if a little bracing. Not a day for sailing although I did see one small yacht out with its sails well reefed in or whatever the expression is. I'm a fair weather sailor I have decided and prefer capsizing small dinghys in the warm Meditteranean Sea and not the freezing English Channel (or Penryn River as seen here).

Short on space

In one of the coves we walked around there were "no parking" signs and, always annoying and uncalled for plenty of "no turning" signs. The signage leaves something to be desired:

No repetitive keyboard injuries

TV presenter fanatics only

?

Natural Beauty

I have been walking around parts of Cornwall and the following shots were taken in and around St. Agnes. The first picture has an accompanying sound file of the usual low standard.

The scenery was spectacular...

Traffic Calming

The councils call speed-ramps "traffic calming" which is justa big wind up. In Flushing they use more interesting methods than ramps though - concrete bollards and massive, partially hidden anchors. Cunning.

Erratic Driving

My Dad used be one of Britain's small shopkeepers and have a motor spares shop at Apex Corner in Mill Hill, London. The shop is still there today although sadly he isn't. He was always looking to make money out of things and when we used to walk the dog we used to look in the hedges for hubcaps. These were all metal, polished press on hubcaps and not the plastic throwaway items you get on today's cars. Of course they all had dents in so weren't worth much and we had to spend ages polishing them.

So I can't resist noticing hubcaps lying around and this one is down a flight of about 50 steps, round the corner and neatly parked. But how did it get there?

Initial Problem

Initials are everywhere which can lead to misinterpretation especially if you a BMW driver. He/she must have thought m/c stood for My Car[parking space] or Manic Chauffer or similar. However I thought it stood for Motor Cycle. Still they knew when to stop - when the side of the car hit the concrete.

Perhaps he thought his car looked this

The power of 2

This, apparently, is entry 256 which is obviously a favourite number of mine being a bit of numbers geek. More important though is the power of cars versus legs as dramatically demonstrated in this amazing film footage. Its about 1.5Mb long and well worth the download.

Broken down

I have just been to Falmouth again (here's an earlier entry from there - search for more). The development where I stay is very nice with great views etc.. However, parking is difficult sometimes and the people there get very uptight about every minor detail. Take the rubbish area for example. There are 5 different signs telling you what you can and can't do. I put my floded up cardboard boxes in there stacked against a wall and 5 minutes later someone had reorganised them. This chair had also been taken out as it's not in a black (can't be grey) plastic bag. Someone has typed up a sign on it pointing out regulation 12b paragraph 3 "no broken down chairs to be stowed here". I wonder how many weeks it will be left out in the cold by itself. I only hope they thought it was me.

Minicab offices

Minicab offices are wonderous things. They always have notices telling they drivers what to and what not to do. And they position them so us punters can have a good view of how professionally they run their company. This one is about taxi drivers refusing to go to Sainsbury's. Apparently they normally only go to Waitrose.

Nature at its worst

We have a problem in our area with speeding squirrels, joy-riding cats, car chasing dogs etc. and the London Borough of Barnet, who are very proud of their new image that they spent £10,000s on, have attended to this problem in the following way:

Cab Drivers - shut up!

Continuing a most favourite theme of People Who Should Shut Up I bring you Minicab and Taxi Drivers as seen earlier. Here are some choice subjects an opinions they proffer:

Driver: "I've 'ad enuff of this country. As soon as I can get enuff money togevver I'm goin' to Spain".

Me: "Are you sure life is much better in Spain?"

Driver: "Urrrrmmm, I dunno, I never really thought about it that way. I know it's 'ot over there and the cab drivers have Mercedes"

or how about

Driver: "'ere, you know anyfing about this share bizness?"

Me: "Yeah well my first tip for you is not to take advice from some drunken bum who has just got in the back of your cab"

Driver: "Oh good", ignoring what I said completely so he can't have been totally stupid, "what's a good price for a share?"

Me, slightly baffled: "Err well it's not the price that counts per se as that just represents the value of the company at that time depending on the number of shares issued. It's that value that is more important."

Driver, faithfully sticking to his plan of ignoring me: "Oh I see...so would would £1.75 be a good price? I think that's a little high? What do you think?"

Me: "I think that with your incredibly poor understanding of such simple concepts you should stick to what you are good at. Or, failing that, cab driving."

Driver: "Personally I think anything less than a quid is good."

All together now, Minicab and Tax Drivers, SHUT UP!

And that bloke who yelled abuse at his chauffer because he parked 20 feet away (thanks for the story Alex) can shut up too.

They are not all bad though. Remember George?

Baby you can ride my bike

Nathan has been a bit slow and learning to ride mostly because we haven't spent enough time with him. Yesterday he really got the hang of it and looks rather pleased with himself.

SoftWatch

Walking back from Selfridges today a bloke in a Mini called me over and sold me this watch. He claimed to work for BMW Park Lane and said that they give these watches away to new car buyers. I don't want a watch and told him so. The price tag was £285 and he was asking £100. I said I really didn't want a watch but he them he got my "low" price out of me - £20. He beat me up to £30 and didn't have change so got £40. What a mug. Anyway its a nice watch if you like that sort of thing - and what's more you can win it if you enter the design an ID card competition! Or you can give me £40 and stuff the competition.

There's one's born every minute - whatever that means.

Tidy parking

The car park and Toteridge and Whetstone has expereinced gypsies, re-tarmaccing and, of course, appalling parking which I like to feel I have contributed to. However, all of this has now been surpassed by the jelly baby and orange peel parking that started followed by the obligatory paper park. I'll keep an eye out for the technicolour yawn that will no dooubt be parked their soon.

Traffic problem

These island cone things are easily detached from their fixings which is handy as you can move them around and reroute the traffic as you see fit.

Scooters

A major feature of my trip to Italy has to be the traffic and the complete lack of concern for traffic laws and personal safety. I only saw the one accident though...

The scooter and motorbikes are a law unto themselves in the towns of Italy. They buzz round you and overtake on blind bends and hassle you and toot their puny horns. It doesn't matter a bit except when they crash into you and it can be great fun pretending not to see them doing rediculous movements then swinging the car in to their way and watching them panic.

We were going down a quiet, dusty, straight road on a hot afternoon. In front of me was a guy on an old scooter and he had what looked like fishing rods strapped across his back and buckets and baskets attached to him. Behind me was a lorry who seemed to be eager to get passed. The scooter was going slowly so I just backed off rather than try and perform an anxious overtaking maneouvre. We were commenting on the state of the guy and wondering what he had in his bags when I saw a bottle of water fall off and roll behind him. I slowed a little and thought that would be the end of the matter but he had other plans. He turned round to see what had happened and then the bike jack-knifed throwing him off it.

I pulled over about 40 yards behind him but the lorry went straight passed and pulled up blocking the road. I thought he wsa going to try and drive past the accident at first. The scooter driver's helmet had come off - they don't all wear them and in anycase it was an open face version which he had obviously not done up - madness. He had a gash on his chin and arm, blood all over his shirt as was limping. We got his bike to the side and he was in shock and pain. The lorry driver motioned to ask me for my "carte" by which I think he meant credentials - licence etc. but I ignored him as I wasn't going to get involved any deeper. The rider phoned for help then eased his trouse leg up and you could see the broken bone pressing against the skin. Lovely. Don't try this at home.

Amazingly that was the only accident we saw although I did smash my door mirror and damage the rear wheel arch slightly. The cover flew off the mirror but it just clipped back on and I polished out the mark so it looked like a typical door mirror that had gone through a few width restrictions. They don't have width restrictions in Italy do they? Or anywhere else apart from the UK? I cleaned up the wheel arch. Unfortunately all of Naples was closed for the second week (apparently) due to it being too hot or they just don't care. I couldn't get a replacement mirror.

When I returned the car I expectec complications but the guy charged me 15 euros for the mirror, then subtracted 15 euros from the bill for fuel as a favour and I didn't tell him about the wheel arch. On the diagram of the car there was a cross by the same wheel arch I had damaged (and none of the others) so I think I didn't cause the dent but did cause a small scraping. What a result! Of course I will watch my credit card statement closely...

Two blokes

This is George and Duncan. George is a 70 year old Jamaican taxi driver who is on his 3rd woman (aged 28 - he has a 46 year old son and a 31 year old daughter). We talked a lot of nonsense in the cab, well I did at least, and I made this awful recording which sounds like he has 4 flat tyres and no exhaust. Actually that last bit is true. If you can bare to listen to it (all 30 seconds of it) you may notice me a) singing and clapping and b) asking George if ever got depressed. We had a laugh but I feel sorry for him having to put up with idiots like me.

The other picture is Duncan who is just a pratt in the pub.

What's in a name

Here in the UK we like to try and make something special out of our car registration plates. I saw this one parked outside my office and went and got my camera. As I went to take the photo the owner (pictured) appeared so I "casually" took the shot. Hence the angle. The owner, a bruff highlander, was not too happy about this so I reassured him that it wasn't personal. What did I mean by that? I don't know. So I left but he came knocking on the yard door so I bravely ran away and set Lee on to him and that was that.

If you can't read what's written, please click here for a larger version

It says "Hi too Best of Scotland" which might be correct but is grammatically wide of the mark.

Drive through

This sign is outside the office block where Demon Internet have some space. One can only assume that they have a massive drive through set of offices where girls on roller skates whizz to and from your parked up vehicle with the post etc.. I call it a car park.

Woy of the Wovers

Who owns this car?

Ground floor perfumery...

Are you being served? Check out the action on the Lower Ground floor.

Not So Smart these cars

This vehicle knows its not a bike or a real car but still can't decide whether to go up this alley. The guy (Brian) who was renting it from that greasy greek geeza easyGreek was really proud of it. When we were peering in the windows and leaning on it I asked him if he was going to wash it before returning it and he replied "I'm going have to now". I'll upload a picture of him.

Woman with a table on her head

You'll have to take my word on this one as I was driving at the time and thought it wrong to stop and take a photo. The woman looked like an African (?) who seem to have that amazing ability to balance large vases of water on their heads. I have seen the Jungle Book and know this to be a Difficult Thing To Do. Anyway, she had a small white plastic table on her head and was merrily walking along the high street. To be fair, it was raining and maybe she didn't have an umbrella?

Cubs

I went to the Cub camp at Chiltern Heights over the weekend. They teach the Cubs a lot. But sometimes they get it wrong.

Space Time Continuum

This time travelling device has landed in Hendon from Cork. There was a guy in the pub who looked like he could have owned it but he was so drunk I had to takes his keys away from him.

Marketing success

This ad has been at tube stations on and off for months. The small print says "99% of our staff have suffered violence or abuse while doing their jobs.". Sounds like a great place to work. Applications must be rolling in.